Write in the Midst of Struggle
“Prayer For God To Be Tangibly Near”
“I need You to move visibly, tangibly, for us God! Speak and let me know You are near!
If all that we have is gone, if all that we have built is taken and all that we desire destroyed, it’s okay; as long as you are near!
Forgive us for placing any thing before you, forgive us for the secret sins of our hearts.
Forgive us for any disobedience we may have displayed and help us to know, clearly, your will, that we can walk in it.
You haven’t let our feet slip, but we want so much more than sound footing;
we want to climb mountains.”
I vaguely remember writing this particular passage but fuzzy details of the mundane are a sure marker of hard times. The important thing to highlight is that writing was a routine aspect of the mundane. I believe this particular prayer came from the the very familiar routine of putting my third and youngest child to bed. You see, there was about a year or two when my husband would get the older boys ready for bed while I nursed and rocked our daughter. They kids shared the 2nd floor, their rooms connected by a Jack-and-Jill bathroom, so each night after pajamas were on and teeth brushed I would close the door to her room and take her up in my arms, on my chest in the rocking chair in the corner of the room.
There in the quiet of her dark room, I would sing to her as we rocked and put on her bedtime music; a sweet assortment of celtic lullabies that acted like a shield of prayers and protection over her. It was in those dark and evenings that my own darkness and weariness often poured forth as tears and conversations with God. On many occasions I would pull out my phone and open up a note to jot down my deepest thoughts and cries to the Lord.
This is one of those many notes.
Life was really difficult then. Really difficult. There was upheaval in our extended family, tragedies and traumas that very well could have made even the strongest crumble, we were struggling with a turbulent business start up and our marriage was taking the largest hit. There was not enough money, not enough stability, not enough Light.
Oh, but how faithful God has been! I didn’t know it then, as I cried to Him on rather mundane nights, He was faithful to refill my spirit with unrecognized peace and strength in what I poured out to Him. He heard and He saw.
If you are in a place, where your mundane life is regularly filled with tears and worries, grief and darkness, call out to Him; write down your prayer in a note on your phone and see what the Lord does with it in times to come. He still hears and still sees.